Testament is derived from testicles!
By Manuel Luciano da Silva, Medical Doctor

 

Every one knows that the  word  Bible means scroll or  the Book. The Bible has been “the best seller” for many centuries.  In reality  the Bible is a library of 73 books for the Catholics and some Protestants,  66 books for other Protestants and 39 books for the Jews. The Bible is the sacred writings of  the Judaism and of  Christianity. 

As a matter of the fact the word biblioteca, (library), is composed of the word Bible, meaning book, more “teca”, Greek, meaning  “safe”. So a biblioteca (or library) is a place where books are safely kept, like in a safe box or volt. 

But we also know that the Bible is composed of two parts: (1) The Old Testament, written by the Jewish prophets  or scholars, and the (2) New Testament is composed by 27 books and were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke  and also Paul. 

But why are the  two parts of the Bible called Old and New Testaments?

Because the word testament is based on the symbolic meaning of both testicles!  Strange, don’t you think! The most important book in the Western World, the Bible, is derived from both testicles?! Well, this certainly needs a very clear explanation, don’t you think?!

Let us go after it. Five thousand years ago, in Judea, (today’s Israel or Palestine)  or for that matter  on any part of the world,  no human  being used the gesture of hand shaking, when he wanted  to salute another human being.

The hand shake started with the Romans, when they begun with the gesture of grabbing each other’s forearm, in order to show that they did not have any dagger  under their toga. And from this gesture, then, slowly, from the forearm, it was moved  downwardly into the hand and therefore the handshake became a  routine which  has been continued up to now!

The meaning of  being a father

But, five thousand years ago, if in Judea,  there was no hand shake,  they developed another custom of saluting or congratulating each other, on  very important or happy occasions? Yes, Sir, they did.

When a man became the father of a boy he called his close friends to his house for a  party,  or a celebration. And when his friends got to his house, when  they enter  the house, they made the gesture of touching  his genitals,  to homage  him as a  full-fledged  man,  because he  was able to impregnate his wife and be so lucky that she gave birth to a baby  boy to continue his family name!  

In ancient Judea, Egypt and Greece, and even the Romans (before Christ), the testicles represented man’s virility, and were also the symbol of strength, respect and honor, and the last name of the family! 

Male testicles are the parts  of the human anatomy that have exerted  the most influence on legal, religious and social development throughout history.

Every man’s and every woman’s last name is  the way it is because of the influence  of each individual’s father’s testicles! It might seem dirty to some people, but that’s  the way it is! Either you like it or not. That the way it is, I repeat!

But there is more! If for the people of antiquity the testicles had such symbolism of strength and power, the human imagination went a step  further and elevated  it  to a religious mysticism and  most powerful, omnipotent like God!   And therefore the Prophets  and  the writers of the Bible, chose the most powerful word of  their  vocabulary:  Testament  for the name of their most important book the Bible: the Old Testament and the New Testament. 

The force of the word testament is so powerful that we continue to use its meaning   even today.  When we go to court to testify, our deposition is based on the honor, on the truth of our statements, based on the honor symbolized by our testicles. In Portuguese when someone is going to court to testify we call that person a “testemunha”, or witness, derived also from the word testicles.

Another word that is used so commonly in our sophisticated society nowadays is the word testimonial, which is also derived from the testicles. When we go to a  testimonial dinner and honoree is a man, I can see the truth, the sincerity in it, but when the testimonial is dedicated to a woman, it makes me laugh! Why? Because society with all its “knowledge”, and taboos, forgets (or is ignorant) of the historical facts, which  were started by the ancient human beings because they were wise and  good observers!

Do you like your last name? Now you know where it came from! 

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